shinynewchapter

During my pregnancy I wasn’t nervous about labour, only excited for my baby. I did do lots of labour preparation including prenatal yoga, reading baby books, watching heaps of One Born Every Minute, reading and practicing ‘Birth Skills’, and writing a birth plan about “natural, no drugs, active labour.” I found these were all good things to do, and I did everything I could think of at the time. Despite this I was completely unprepared for what was ahead.

I had a natural birth. I pushed 4.37kg out my tiny body. Now I guess if you have a smooth recovery from this then you are super lucky. I didn’t. Second degree tear into the muscle, bruised coccyx bone and a hematoma formed behind my uterus. My recovery has been challenging, and is ongoing. I have experienced: Stress incontinence; Urge incontinence (I think this is what is happening!); and a constant feeling of needing to pee, particularly while standing and walking.

I’ve come to realise that although I did everything I could think of to prepare for birth and baby, my own recovery didn’t really feature in my planning at all. With every labour and recovery being so different I don’t know if you can ever really be prepared, however in hindsight there are some things I wish I had of done to better prepare myself for my journey ahead.

1. Talked to other women about their labour AND recovery experiences.

I actually felt really prepared with One Born Every Minute! Seems hilarious now! I should have asked those in my network who had both difficult experiences as well as those with good ones. More variety the better!

2. Gone to see a women’s health physio before labour

If I had my time again I would have gone to a physio to check my pelvic floor before birth. Not only would this have helped me learn to do the exercises properly I would have received a program to get started straight away. Better to be over prepared. I honestly didn’t even know what type of health professional to see when discussing postnatal issues like incontinence and was actually suprised when “physio” was the answer.

3. Done what the women’s health physio instructed religiously

I knew from the baby books, even without a women’s health physio, that I should have been “kegelling” everyday. As I had no issues, I was slack. I wish I hadn’t been.

4. Asked the midwives how big they thought my baby would be.

There are big babies on both mine and my husband sides of the family. The comments I received that “your body will not make a baby that it can’t handle” was just not true for me. I know the midwives/doctors are only able to estimate the size and it is not a 100% correct measurement but something would have been nice. I never had anyone do this and I was shocked that she was so big and that it hadn’t been mentioned. Had I have known I may have asked about an early induction or whether a cesarean would be a safer option for me.

5. Raised my weight gain with my midwife.

Weight gain wasn’t discussed at all during my prenatal appointments. I had made a big effort to eat well during pregnancy. Despite this I felt so sick a lot of the time and carbs would help. Towards the end I was craving sugar, and just going for it. I added over 20 kilos on my 55kg pre-baby body. One of my pregnancy apps told me this was excessive weight gain but I just dismissed it. Had I raised these concerns I might have talked it through, put on a bit less weight and maybe even realised I was having a big baby.

6. Do perineum massage

Even though my Birth Skills book told me to do this, I didn’t do it. It seemed too confronting at the time. Massage what?? I had had a perfect pregnancy, with no real problems, so why should labour be any different. I now wished I had done it.

7. Stayed in hospital as long as possible

Still high on oxycodone I left hospital a day earlier than I could have. I know it is usually not a choice, especially in public hospitals where they need to turn people over quickly. However going forward I would always choose to stay as long as I was allowed, just for that extra bit of support and rest. I would have loved to be still in there when my milk came in, that was epic.

8. Not planned to move interstate for at least a couple months after baby was born

Yep seems like an obvious one! We moved two weeks after our baby was born. Not only did we actually have to do the moving part but then I was away from my closest people and favourite places. I needed postnatal medical appointments. My trusted GP and hospital was no longer around the corner and I had the daunting task of navigating an entirely new medical network.

9. Planned for a month of rest and baby!

I wished I would have made a plan to do nothing but rest, recover and look after my baby for AT LEAST the first month. Although my husband was looking after us, I was on a rampage doing the washing, cleaning, phoning around doctors, and tidying the house for open inspections (thanks oxycodone!). This was all on top of looking after a new baby and my own recovery. I should have pre-cooked more meals, asked family in advance to come over and help with the housework, and had meal delivery options on speed dial for when I needed it.

10. Mentally prepared myself that recovery could be a long haul.

In my mind I was so focused on that fact that I was having a baby. I hadn’t even thought about what recovery could be like for me, and the fact that it could be a long journey. I was ready for the fact I was going to have to work hard to loose some weight but I like being fit and was okay with that. The rest of it came as a rude shock. A bit of a mental preparation that there was a possibility it could be difficult would have helped.

Hindsight is a beautiful thing!